Another Rough Week

What’s the balance between staying informed and not having a nervous breakdown?

Photo by Noelle Otto on Pexels

Well, it’s been another week of high anxiety, naps, and Xanax. In fact, I just took a Xanax before sitting down to write this newsletter! Once my nervous system gets revved up like this it takes a while to calm down and for the anxiety to dissipate. Even once the “threat” has passed that set off my anxiety to begin with, my body tends to remain in an anxious state for days, weeks, or even months. And in this case, the threat isn’t passing — it’s continuing relentlessly in a daily assault.

I canceled therapy this week because therapy is a big expense for me — weekly sessions even four times a month is a stretch. Because this January had five weeks, I decided to skip the fifth one to save money. I quickly realized that this is not the time to skimp on therapy.

When the week got off to another anxious start, I emailed my therapist to ask if we could un-cancel my session this week, and she wrote back immediately to say of course. She also did something no therapist has ever done before: She gave me homework to help me out in the meantime.

My therapist sent me the link to a simple, five-minute meditation for anxiety, plus a list of other suggestions to help divert my attention from my anxiety.

I chose this therapist because I’ve always hit a wall with talk therapy, and I wanted to try some other strategies for altering my detrimental beliefs and behaviors. I am a high-achiever and conscientious student and I thrive in a homework situation, so I was very happy with this new development 🤓

Here are some more ups and downs from this week — and how I’m trying to break free from this crushing anxiety.